This story about an Irish Sunday School teacher made me laugh out loud. A colleague who has taught in Ireland told a similar story about a toddler whose first sentence, after being jostled in a minor traffic accident while on the way to church, was: “For fook’s sake!” Wonder where he picked up that phrase?…I must note that I find the Irish lilt so much more lyrical and lovely than the flat American English I hear most of the time, and “fook” never strikes me as offensive — and is actually rather charming with the aforementioned lilt — while “fuck” seems harsh and ugly by comparison…Anyway, here’s the story:
I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?”
“‘NO!” the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?”
Again, the answer was “NO!” By now I was starting to smile.
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?”
Again, they all answered “NO!”
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, ”Then how can I get into heaven?”
A six year-old boy shouted out:
“YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN’ DEAD!”