John Foley

My niece Meghan is a student at the University of Wisconsin. She’s a talented writer and recently co-authored an important opinion piece in the university’s paper. When she was in high school, Meghan wrote a parody of J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye that I thought was brilliant, and given Salinger’s recent passing, it seems appropriate to bring it up now. The parody involves Holden Caulfield telling a fairy tale. An excerpt: “One hundred years passed, and then one day a prince came riding by. This is so phony. Let me guess, I bet it was Prince Charming. What does that mean, anyway? The perfect man? Cuz if I was the perfect man, I’d get pretty goddamn crazy about myself. The prince was amazed to find everyone in a deep sleep. I bet they’re a little goddamn dusty by now, too. At last, he entered the room where he saw the sleeping princess. He ends up kissing her. Boy, you’ve gotta be pretty horny to kiss a dusty, sleeping, 100-year-old phony. That’s like kissing your grandma.”…On a far more serious note, Meghan was instrumental in bringing Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a prominent critic of Islam, to the University of Wisconsin as part of the Distinguished Lecture Series – which is what she wrote about in the guest column. Hirsi Ali will speak on Feb. 2nd. A citizen of Somalia who later became a member of the Dutch Parliament, Ayaan Hirsi Ali has spoken boldly against the Muslim subjugation of women, and Islamic radicals want to kill her for expressing her beliefs and recounting her experiences. She wrote the screenplay for Submission, a film directed by Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh — who was later murdered as a result…I’m proud of Meghan for her part in helping Ayaan Hirsi Ali speak her truth in Madison.

When I first saw American Beauty, I thought it was a somewhat depressing tale of modern suburban life. I saw the film again recently, however, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Two scenes were especially compelling. One was Kevin Spacey’s voiceover after he’s been murdered. I generally don’t like films in which they kill the protagonist off at the end, but this was an exception; it seemed to work. The other scene involved a bag dancing on the breeze, seemingly happy and free. Here is the commentary during that scene from the insightful and sensitive drug dealer (yeah, maybe that’s a stretch):

It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that’s the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and… this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… and I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.

The following poem, by Sierra Lafever, was recently published in Teen Ink. Sierra is a student at the school where I work, and I certainly understand why her poem was published — it’s excellent. Always enjoyable to work with talented young people:

Age Six

The bones of your face
seemed to curve inward
in a way I knew hurt you more
than anything I could do
I wanted to kiss your
whole and perfect cheeks until
both our fears scampered away
into the inky black darkness
but he had only just begun
We all listened to him yell, waiting
for his anger to come to a boil
and fizzle out
In the dark of the hallway
your eyes looked bruise-purple
but I tried to keep the image
of them sky blue in my mind
You told me to go play
but even then you meant more to me
than the blood pumping through me
I wished I could take your pain
into myself and see your eyes again

My sister Mary took a nice photo of our nephew Colin recently. Colin is my sister Amy’s middle son — she has three boys, the “Irish Princes,” between ages 2 and 6. The image Mary captured shows Colin sitting on the toilet, holding a book and wearing his mother’s reading glasses. “Wonder where he learned that?” Mary quipped. Indeed. Our children imitate us so ruthlessly.

There is something freeing about letting my facial hair grow like a field of wheat…Yes, the beard is back. I’ve decided I like the lower part of my face covered with fur; I always have, actually, and even in my clean shaven days I usually only shaved two or three times a week. My wife Jules is not fond of the beard; I’m hoping she’ll adjust in time. I quote the old line to her about how many women love to go through the woods to get to the picnic, and she rolls her eyes. My beard is rather gray – even white – at this point, and a couple of students have called me Santa Claus, as well as Grizzly Adams. One student said he admired my “Man Beard,” which seems rather redundant; if there are women around with beards, I don’t want to see them. The philosopher Epictetus said a beard is the natural condition of a man and men shave their faces to look more like women. I think he was onto something. Plus, shaving is a pain. While I may compromise with my wife and dye the beard so it’s a bit darker, I don’t see shaving again – ever.

Happy New Year! Film Critic Roger Ebert recently published his annual Top 10 Films of the Year – and decade. He included many of my favorites. I find myself drawn to spiritual films, primarily – they move me far more deeply than various genre films. So in that “spirit,” here are my Top 10 Spiritual Films, in no particular order:

1. The Shawshank Redemption
2. Groundhog Day
3. Jesus of Montreal.
4. Star Wars
5. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…And Spring
6. Wings of Desire
7. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
8. Forrest Gump
9. Peaceful Warrior
10. The Thin Red Line

Others that were close: The Matrix, Fearless, The Big Blue, Little Buddha, American Beauty, Pay it Forward, The Razor’s Edge, A River Runs Through It, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Happy Go Lucky and The Straight Story